heffo
I really don't think that anyone in this world knows the real me. My closest friends know me better than anyone else, but I don't think I’ve ever let certain sides of me come out around anyone except myself. I keep some feelings hidden because no one would understand, and even if they did understand, there wouldn't be anything that anyone could do to make the feelings disappear.

"I wonder if you hurt like me.".
Walkie Talkie

applause(cred)
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THE LAST MEMORY.


The pain i kept for this past three years were still in me. Now, i  am still middle school student somewhere in Malaysia. I am lonely for a month ever since i was there. It is like everyone ignore me. They were my friends back then when i was still in the secondary school. It was... and it wouldn't happen now.

I can still remember when i've got this very friendly friend of mine. She ask me to be her friend, i was so happy that i accepted it without any doubt. I thought she was the best of friend i've ever met.. but i was wrong. I was too rushing things up that I, myself, never thought the things i hate it to happen, happened to me.

The friend of mine is a traitor. She backstabbed me. She told everyone my secret, she ignore me. She never think of my pain, the pain that i kept till now. I hate her. I was so stupid to believe her. She did that in purpose hust to ruin up my life, the life that i dreamt of.

I asked her why, but she ignore my question. I felt like i was in the middle of an island, living alone without everyone notice. I thought i was in a deep hole living all alone. No one is there to comfort me. No one dare to talk to me. No one to joke with. No one is there to do anything that i like that i adore. It was diffrent than last year. I thought coming to the current school is a miracle in fact it was a miserable. I thought i can make more friends than enemies. Friend to bestfriend.. But it turns out that i made more enemies than a friends..

"From us being friend turn out to enemies. No best friends. I can't choose my best friends because i know i won't found any. I was hoping that day when we fight are only a dream but it was not. But the wierd thing is you acted like that day never happened, you act like my friend again but you were not, deep inside of you, i know you looked at me as an annoying person that need attention. I want you guys to be my friends again.. Good Friend. But when you guys ignore me, it made my heart feel like my heart was the frailest thing in the world. I still can remember the things i said to you when it was the first time we fight.
I won't forget everything, every hour, every minutes, every second that we spend together all day long. Can't you see the pain i felt right now, can't you see? why? i know, because you will never care, it will not even happen. I know you try to make this things settle again,  but i guess it was too late. I will pray for your happiness, i will. So, don't you worry. I always want to see you happy althought you treat me like this.

Now, you can see me again, you like it didn't you?  The pain i kept for over 3 years are now gone, same like me. I couldn't feel myself right now because i was in my own life. I know you're reading this because i you to come to me for i will never come back. I won't be there anymore, you won't see me anymore. Please laugh if you are read this. I never want to see you cry because of this diary i've been doing since we were together but i think this will be the end for us... i mean, for me. Lastly from me, please don't forget all the memory that we have been through before this cause for me it was precious.

your truly friend,

Kemy.

"It's over now rosy, she's gone. Just let her be, stop crying now okay?" Rosy who is now feeling all guilty from what she had done was crying in regretted. "Mianhae.." She sat down on the ground and kemy's diary fell down touching the ground."
"Im sorry for what i've done to you. I've been childish back then, why do you have to go?!" Rosy scream alone at the empty land. "Chingu-yahh, mianhae.. congmal mianhae.." tears won't stop falling from rosy eyes. The wind blow soft and the rain start fall from drop by drop become heavy and heavier that made rosy's tears can't be seen.

"I am gone now, you should be happy.." Rosy stop crying when she heard kemy's soft voice from nowhere. "Please.." the voice say again, pleading rosy to stop crying.
"Mianhae.." That is the only word rosy can say. And then, she slowly get up and clench her fist slowly, looking at the empty land. She walked away but stopped when she felt like kemy's soul was smiling at her. She smiled back in tears. "This is the last memory of us Kemy-ahh."

This story is not related to anyone, it just another new fiction :) Kbye. 


Thank you namu ♥

Hey, i want to talk about my friend NAMU!
Hehehe, i know it sound weird for a person to have a name like that, but do i look like i care? :) Cheers, im just kidding, arasso? Heeeeeeeeee. 
He never fail to make me happy, that is the reason why i love him so much. He will always be there whenever i need him. He will always make me smile whenever im with him. Thats what i like about him.
Can i be yours forever namu? You know that i don't have anyone right now right? 
After school, sometimes i'll walk alone but.. he is there with me, walking me home and he always make sure i was safe. I still remember when he say that he will protect me forever. I was about to tear up that time. When i was sad, he was there.. trying hard to comforting me and of course he succes to make me smile again. 
One day i heard my mom talking with my sister. That time i was so into namu, he talk a lot that day. I don't know what they are talking about. Hehhh..
This is what i heard as i remember...

                                         "Kakak tengah cakap dengan sapa angah?"
                                         "Tak tahu."
                                         "Hasya ke? Hasya mana?"
                                         "Hasya kat bawah, tengah tengok tv dengan abah."
                                         "Dah tu?"
                                         "............."
and after that i can't hear anything anymore, i continue talking with namu. I know he realized what i'm doing.
but then i heard my mom said this " You should talk to her more often."
I look at namu, he is smiling. And then he said " I know you believe me." 
With that, i smile and continue what i'm doing again until i asleep and can't found him nowhere in the morning.. but i believe he will come back to see me again :D he know well.
Sometimes when i was down, i can feel his gaze, like he is hugging me or something, and he never forget to say " My kemy is strong. Don't cry. I'm here.." 
he is the only one i trust for now.
He sing well, i love when he will randomly sing a song, with his body gag. I always laugh when i remember that moment xD With his greasy attitude, ohmy.. i'm in love with you.
Sometimes when i was in a good mood, i always ask him to tell about his life.. and he will shook his head because he have nothing to share with since he's alone in his world. He said that i am only his friend. I was happy to know that. and yeahh, i will share all my problem with him, even he doesn't know anything about me. He know what i've been through all day because he was there.. with me. And he already promise that he will never leave me.
I was happy to have him in my life, he bring my smile back after what happen to me. At least.. at least i have someone to talk to :) I don't know, everyone leave me now.. I tried, and now i'm tired of trying. I give up. 
I don't mind if people said that i was crazy, talking alone, laughing, smiling all by myself without no reason. Hmmm, those guy will never understand. Let them be, say whatever you want. I face it, it's okay cause i already used to it :') I hope by doing that, it will make you guys more happier.
Namu, i love you! Don't leave me okay? You already promise that and i am looking for it. 
I'll treat you an ice cream sometimes okay? Hahaha! 
Having you as my imaginary friend really bright up my world back :)


Nowdays you.



#NowPlaying Kan Miyoun- Going Crazy


Assalamualaikum, 



How are you? I miss you :) 
well, i don't know what to talk actually. But i do have a lot things to share. Sadly, i don't have anyone to share with :') i'm pitiful, i know. Hahaha.
I'm doing well but sometimes i'm not doing good. Why? Hahaha. you don't need to know. You don't even care right? I already know that. 
Kay, ehemm.. screw that. Lemme tell you about my day. 
I guess nowdays i act weird, you know like.. im not kemy. Hahaha, i already know this actually. My mom keep asking me this "Are you okay?" and of course i'll reply it with "Of course." I don't want my mom to worry about me, never. 
my sister same question is " So you’ve been act different nowdays and how are things between you and your friends?" I didn't surprise at that question, so i act like this 


Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they will always be there. I'm doing nothing, my life turns different after that day, and i really don't know why. I really don't have any idea. Kemy, why you changed? why you hate people? why you? whyyy?! You know, i don't like making promise but if i make a promise, i'll do it no matter what. I didn't break my promise yet, i still love you and you are still my friend until forever. Hahaha. Ignore me if you found i've been annoying. I don't care because you already happy with new one. Ehh, i'm talking about who? You, who reading this. okay? Everyone or anyone who reading this don't you know how i love you? Yeahh, we're friend since forever right? kekeke~ 
Ummhh, and i'm learning korean now. I got help from my super oppa :) He's so kind, he help me a lot and nowdays he took care of me well. I don't have to worry anymore although he is far away from me, i trust him. Oppa, you are reading this right? hehehe. I'll meet you one day ♥ 
Ahh, i almost forgot about this, i don't know this is true or not but i believe almost everyone have their own haters. Like me, people hate me so i call them my haters baby xD why you hate me ehh? Even my friend hate me now, hahaha. This world is full of haters i guess ^^
Aummm, i miss her. So much that i couldn't tell how it is. I miss how she hold my hand and drag me whenever she go, i miss how she always act silly in front of me and i miss everything. Hahaha, am i look like a fool already? Well, this is how i feel, im telling the truth. 
Maya! Kau tengah baca blog aku ehh? Hahhaa, rindu kau ahh. Nanti aku bawakkan nescafe untuk kau lagi :)
And he know, i don't know how to tell this anymore. I hate how he lie telling me that he love me and pfffttt -,- FOR WHAT ARE YOU LYING? You say that three word to my other friend, almost all of them. Thats what wrong with you. Why you're doing this? and then you pretend to miss me? Ohhh, mister. You never changed. I feel like that devastating moment when he tells me about the girl he likes...that's not me. </3
you know how i feel? Of course you don't, you don't even care. Right? Hahaha. I will leave for you so I will get to hate you. So every night it’s lonely, miserable, tiring. Especially today, you have so many secrets.You can leave now, okay? 
Ahhh, i really want to go up to the hill and shout/scream whatever i want. I'm miserable and i want to be free! I want to go far away from here and which i can't see you anymore! I'm getting hurt but you never know. hmphhhh.. okay, chillax kemy. 
That's all for now i guess. Bye, i love you no matter what :') 


p.s : Maya, jom pi karok.